Playgrounds for Scam Artists

--Many and Varied are the Playgrounds Upon Which Scam Artists Conduct Their Con Games--Are you Ever Tempted to Join in on the Fun?

Fraklin's Rule hits this theme right on the head: Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed. But, more likely it is that most people will follow this slightly altered version: If you started out with nothing, and still have most of it left, you might be tempted.

What are these scam artists' games? Here is the basic menu--26 playground areas for you, as the victim, to swallow--or reject:

> Home improvement frauds. Termites you don't have. Other phantom pests. Recommendations by phony city inspectors. Marriage is said to be made in heaven; so is thunder and lightening. These scams are some of the latter.

> Phony bank examiners. Soliciting your "cooperation" in tracking down dishonest employees, misplaced funds, etc. Trying to justify these is like watching a foreign film without subtitles.

> Phony legal threats for non-cooperation with F.B.I., refusal of jury service, etc. Your reactions can run the gamut. At one extreme, you can ignore or report to the police. At the other you can completely succumb in a panic, by going to your court house steps and protest by setting yourself on fire.

> Vending machines. Easy to unload. Great sales appeal. Just park the machines; they will work for you; all you have to do is empty the machines of their cash, bank the money and get rich. The con man worships such post-scam activities as a government bureaucrat worships operational mediocrity.

> Investments, franchises, land frauds. Most common. Most overdone. Most profitable for the con man. Suckers are baited with these lures over and over and over again. Remember, the squeaky wheel gets annoying. Better to walk away, back turned.

> Inventions. The person who has invented a revolutionary toothpick rotator device in his garage usually knows less than nothing about marketing. These scam artists, therefore, crawl out from under their rocks to "show him the way." For a small fee, of course.

> Work-at-home. Sit home, stuff envelopes on your kitchen table, and make a fortune. Popular appeal. Schizophrenia beats being alone.

> Phony degrees. Covered thoroughly in our article, How to Earn a College Degree Without Earning a College Degree. Appeal to vanity,and ease-of-achievement. Check the Archives.

> Postal frauds, chain letters. Old as the hills. Still work. Suckers jump. All we can say is: A thing not worth doing is not worth doing well.

> Unordered merchandise. Letting yourself get suckered in to accepting these would be like shooting yourself in the head to stop a headache.

> Charity rackets. Total of 90% of some charitable donations go to decorate the linings of the con man's pockets. Stick to the charities you know.

> Computer dating. Incubator for lots of sparks. First off, a computer makes as many mistakes in 2 seconds as 20 people working 20 years. Secondly, men can't be sexist; broads hate that. Third up, it confuses men about their manhood, and, it makes broads fret And hell hath no fury like a fretting broad.

> Debt consolidation. These are convoluted, complex formulas designed to delay and confuse. Remember, the longer you wait in line , the more likely it is to be the wrong line.

> Dance Lessons. After 60 years Arthur Murray's footprints still loom large. And, a natural urge ever persists to be Gene Kelly dancing in the rain. Go slow though. If you are a slow-footed klutz who can barely walk straight, you would be wasting your money.

> Freezer plans. Fifty years ago these were popular. Today they rank with the boldest of out-and-out frauds. Don't touch. To err is human; to eat a muskrat is not.

> Psychic fraud. Aimed at those who have to study to become a half-wit.

> Health clubs. Great appeal, both legitimate and illegitimate. But, always consider: If God wanted us to fly coach, he would have made us narrower.

> Employment. Dangerous. Too much personal information is required for resume filing.

> Lonely Hearts. For women, you might like him, but still not want to see him work with sub-atomic particles. For men, you might like her, but not want to see her win crocheting awards.

> Medical quackery. You cannot produce a baby in 1 month by impregnating 9 women Yet, much of the medical quackery out there is of similar lunacy.

> Missing heirs and inheritance scams. check the Archives for our article on inheritance scams It was popular, revealing.

> Referral Sales. Easy way to make millions, huh? Sure When you see this one, tell yourself: There is no time like the present to postpone or cancel a decision.

> Lonely hearts. Men emanating a piney scent, wishing to smell masculine, and ladies marinating in strong perfume, make up the bulk of this huge, huge,market.

> Talent scouts. Vanity appeal. Before jumping into this, ask yourself: If a fool and his money are soon parted, how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

> Self-published books. If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?

> Anti-aging devices and products. Time may be a great healer, but a lousy beautician.

Now, in confronting all of this you must face a typical bean-bag reality: If your shadow stops doing what you're doing, look out. It means, simply, your common sense has taken a vacation, and a shroud of illogic is taking over.

You can counter this by adhering to one solid principle:

When in doubt, procrastinate--until all of these "opportunities" pass you by.

Simple Quirk in the Law Enables Anyone to Become a Con Man

--How the Everyday Man-on-the-Street Consumer Can Become a Con Man

With only your credit card your cup runneth over. A new career as a con man awaits you.

Sure. Who? Anybody, including you.

How? Why? What enables such good fortune? It's credit card law, much to the benefit of the con man Now, you have only to take your credit card and find a new, simple use for it. (Everything works better if you plug it in.)

In many countries internet sales and mail order sales are governed by the same laws. This includes the U.S. So, what's the similarity in sales that invites this sameness of regulation? In both internet and mail order sales the customer is absent from the POP (point-of-purchase). thus,, no signature appears, assuring that delivery has occurred. (These last words are important. So, read them again: no signature appears, assuring that delivery has occurred. This is the can opener that opens this Can of Worms. More detail in the wrap-up phase of this article.)

As a result, customers are presented with several options, which, in effect, would clearly complete the transaction. Usually, within 30 days, they can claim:

1) The item was not delivered as promised.

2) The item did not meet expectations.

3) The transaction was the result of a lost or stolen credit card.

Of course, the merchant is offered an opportunity to contest the chargeback. But--and, here's the big but--without a signature to verify delivery,there is most often little--or nothing--the merchant can do. You have only to follow a basic con man remedy: When your victim is down, kick him..

So, what's the best option for the every-day- consumer-turned-con-man? Certainly, that's easy enough to figure. Number 1, naturally. If the product was not signed for when delivered (more than 95% of all cases), the burden is on the merchant to either deliver a second time, or refund the purchase price. Opportunity for illicit customer profit? Should be obvious. A truly con man-prone situation If you have set low personal standards for yourself, then consistently failed to meet them, you will be "up" to such an underhanded endeavor.

To make this kind of crime work you'd have to become a whining complainer.. And, it's said that the more you complain, the longer God makes you live. A negative?

Consequently, if pangs of conscience emerge, and you become a guilt-ridden whacko because of this new career, then what? It's introspection time.. Remember, the only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

If, In addition to moral reasons, you reconsider the whole thing and, rather, opt to stay on the "straight and narrow," as a means to claiming your just deserts in the Hereafter, ask yourself, which came first, karma or dogma? Remember, the hardness of the butter is always directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

Also remember Alley's Axiom: Justice always prevails--3 times out of 7. But, as shocking as it was to Dorothy and her dog, Toto, to get dumped out of the Land of Oz back into Kansas, look no further for guidance on the proper path to take. They adjusted, and to the bright side.

Stick with the old hokeyism, "honesty is the best policy," to insure your reservation--a front row seat in that Hereafter.

He who dies with the most toys still dies.

Legal Thriller?--How to Scam For Fun and Profit Through a Foundation

--How to become a Scam Artist? You've Read the Basics in Previous Articles; Now it's on to an Advanced Scam School Education that reads like a Legal Thriller

A conscience does not prevent sin; it only prevents you from enjoying it.

Want to find a scam that's as simple as stealing cookies from girl scouts?Conscience be damned? Try this:

Your studies of basic Scamology completed (ref: the Archives), you are now ready to move on--from Scamology 101 to the next, more advanced class, Scamology 102.

Here we employ a slightly altered approach, one that reads like a real legal thriller book. Use of the legal, tax-exempt "Foundation" as the tool for plundering, pillaging, defrauding, and robbing blind all those you can persuade to trust you with their money.

(As foreboding and expensive as "Foundation" sounds, it's cheaper than you think. Check out with any attorney the--usually--reasonable costs of setting up your own tax exempt association. You can even run it out of a home office. This may seem like wearing bib overalls to a funeral, but it's not. It's doable.)

Speaking from the standpoint of the scam artist (visualize yourself in that role), here is how you could achieve wondrous results,

> Remember, from past lessons, that your primary goal is to generate an issue, where you can promote 2 strongly opposing sides, manufacture a problem so you can step in and solve it. Precursor is to foster the "Lets you and him fight?" psychosis to its fullest. For this, the Foundation is ideal because it affords you a legitimate-sounding shield, behind which you can hide while you deviously strive to follow Jahe's Law: Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

> Win the battle? Lose? Who cares? Only relevant factor is being seen by the public as the "Good Guys." You must therefore, above all else, create a positive public image. Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it.

> You must work hard to dehumanize all those opposing you, so you can justify manipulating your flock into hating them, and supporting you as a consequence. A conclusion is a place you get to when you're tired of thinking. Manipulate this common emotion to your advantage. Hammer home the necessity of jumping to a conclusion--so that your followers can come up with a flawed assumption.

> Now, dip back to the worthy motives learned from Scamology 101. Use these problems you've created through the setting up of your Foundation in the following ways: To manipulate, sell fear and divisiveness, divert attention, gain followers--to form your flock of sheep--and raise money to fatten your wallet at their expense. Much like borrowing funds from a pessimist, who doesn't expect to be repaid. (God must have loved stupid people; he made so many of them).

> A Foundation is a perfect "front" for your scamming activities because: 1) Buried among the many thousands of these which are legitimate, yours will be virtually invisible. 2) You can set up a stooge--a "front person," one with an appealing public image (manufactured war hero, an "I have overcome" disease recoverer, maybe a born-again Christian). 3) You are then free to become the behind-the-scenes string puller of your little puppet show--free to con, blackmail, bribe, lie, do whatever it takes to achieve your materialistic ends. Just be sure to keep your dupe (front person) ignorant of what is really going on. As the old proverb goes: Never try teaching a goat to dance; you waste your time and only annoy the goat.

> Now, when you write the rules,--with an exclusion clause for yourself--you can design them so you can follow the letter of the law while completely ignoring its intent.
The challenge is like crossing a lawyer with a librarian, your flock gets all the information it needs, and can't understand a word of it.

> You can set up sub-groups of suckers from within your flock to unwittingly do all the illegal, unethical, and immoral tasks, by way of a secret language through which you can give orders and not be held accountable. Always have your dumbest sucker designated as your scapegoat, someone to "take the fall" if anything goes wrong. You will want someone so stupid that she should be watered twice a week. There is no vaccine for stupidity.

> Good news must always be transmitted via your Simon Pure, Front Person; bad news by your Patsy. Use lots of statistics. Statistics are a highly logical and precise way for saying a half-truth inaccurately. (If you have to talk to yourself, don't use a bull horn.)

> There you have it. Always focus on the symptoms, never the problem.. Emphasize hope, dreams, fallacies, fiction, never facts, and especially, never the real problem itself.
Jump up and down about the symptoms. Make a lot of noise. (Attila the Hun died on his wedding night of a nose bleed; you don't want to go out as a wimp, like Attila.) Stay healthy. You can get plenty of exercise just dodging deadlines.

True, this whole thing sounds like a scientific exercise in Artificial Stupidity. Like advocating a return to slavery and abolition of a woman's right to vote. But, you'd be surprised at how every carbon-based life form on the planet craves recognition, honor, and respect, for themselves, and integrity in others. And, for the gifted con man, a cloak of integrity is easy to manufacture. You have merely to cash-in on these fundamental weaknesses--for your own fun and profit. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

Manage all these diverse elements--manipulate your followers properly, these people who would be out of their depth in a mud puddle--and your tax-free income will enrich you. No end.

And, for mop up operations? Simple. After the battle, like an auditor, you have only to show up and bayonet all the wounded.