Con Man's Legal Phone Scam: 900 Phone Line Offer

--How to Become your Community's Lonely Hearts Matchmaker, Resident Psychic, or Neighborhood Horn Dog.

Several of the 900-phone line operators are now offering to share the wealth: give you a chance to be just like them.

And, they don't care how old, or young, you are. To them age is important only if you are wine or cheese.

They will set you up in a con man-style business for yourself, the easy way: they will do all the work, and you will only sit back and enjoy the profits.

Being very successful at seeking out people who have delusions of adequacy, they know that acceptable thinking is: If you eat a live toad at breakfast, nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day and that enormous profits will follow such a swallowing of pride.

They already have the con man facilities, and the phone operators / answerers / counselors--or whatever you would call these people--and are now extending the hand of friendship toward your wallet. "Sharemanship" you might otherwise call it. (If at first you don't succeed, try management.)

For a little under $500 you can offer all the same "services" they do. They will set you up with your very own con man 900-phone number turnkey-package business.

The 3 best model packages from which you can choose, as the offering of your very own 900 service, are: 1. Matchmaker. Access their excellent staff of Dear Abby-type advisors to find kindred spirits of all kinds--from lovelorn to lovesick to love makers. 2. Psychic. Tap their mystic stable of Twilight Zone gurus--their version of Rod Serling in their vending of astrophysical counsel. 3. Adult. (Read, porno.) Self-explanatory. Or you can choose to manage a multiple of these offerings (Remember what Confucius say: Man with one chopstick go hungry.)

You will be pleased to know that these lines will work for you 24 / 7. And, that their con man counselors are very skilled in piling up chargeable minutes for you-- that;s the primary goal, the average now being 10 minutes per call, on which they collect $2.99-$5.99 per minute, of which they will dispense $1.00 per minute to you for the use of your lines. You will have no worries to concern yourself with over maintenance, operations, management, of any kind. Your only function will be to--out of your own pocket--advertise. This is their idea of serving up a 7-course meal consisting of something like a hot dog and 6-pack.

Why such generosity?

Simply because this sponge is nearly squeezed dry. These people have already tapped out their primary advertising media--underground newspapers, Howard Stern-type radio shows, and whacko internet sites--and are now beating the bushes for every last scrap of business to be had.

Hence, they would now like to invite you aboard their profit train, if you will bring with you, please, whatever new business you can drum up from your local newspaper classified ads, Kiwanis Club and high school year book associations, and shopping mall billboard postings.

Conversely, if you don't, so what. At this point they've already got your up-front money. These con men can now merely ignore you and solicit the next candidate from their sucker list for this glorious no work / all play turnkey package business setup.

Learn from the mistakes of others; you won't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Would you have anything at all to gain from such a business association? If you don't mind becoming known as a weirdo, con man, or pornographer, maybe. Though doubtful. If you feel such a new identity added to your name in your community might be offensive to you, no. Remember a fundamental Law of Bureaucracy, which applies closely in this case: The solution to a problem creates a new problem.

Even singularly, based on its earnings potential alone, such "opportunity" just seems to not be there. A clear look proves that the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

You'd probably go about as far in life, with the same social acceptance, if you took a hit of acid, smoked a joint, and bummed some money from your mother.

Legal Thriller Author Dissects Con Man-Inspired Courtroom Scam

In bankruptcy, a competent judge will frown mightily on a con man style shell game, any spending pattern that does not add up.

How often have you thought: If I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all?

You go to the track to play the horses. Bad day. You lose $5,000. You try to recoup by buying 1,000 lottery tickets. With the 100,000,000 to 1 odds against you so drastically reduced, you now have an excellent chance of winning, don't you? Wrong. Next you clean out your bank accounts, borrow on your insurance policies, take a second mortgage on your house, and go to Las Vegas. Ignoring how storm clouds form, you know you can turn your run of bad luck around and come out of your mire smelling like a rose garden. You drop $10,000 at blackjack, then your last $30.000 shooting craps.

Woe is you. You now can't pay your bills. Where do you go from here? Eenie, Meanie, Miney, Moe--whoever screws you up the most, that's the way you go.

To a credit counselor, of course. After all, the ad, "Bad Credit? No Problem!," assures you of a way out, right? You must placate your base instincts, because your faith in human nature is all-consuming.

The counselor says, let's consolidate. You reconsider. You feel you've been suckered. You should have known that the "No Problem" part of the ad really meant, "Big Problem."

Life can only be understood looking backwards; unfortunately, it must be lived forwards. So, next you visit a bankruptcy lawyer. She says file for same.

You sigh, agree, and decide on one last fling before doing so. You apply for 2 additional credit cards, max them out, and go skiing in Aspen for 2 weeks.

Then you come home and file. Docket day comes and the judge says, hey, wait a minute, there are a few questions. Have you applied for any new credit cards lately? How many charges? What amounts? Over the limit? Did you consult an attorney before filing? Did you make multiple charges on the same day? Was there a sudden change in your buying habits? Were the purchases for necessities or luxuries? What's your current income and prospects? How many changes, and of what nature, in your lifestyle? Gambling? Luxury vacations?

Holed. Cornered. Trapped. You now realize that--while you are an exaggerated case--yours is somewhat typical of today's "no way out" path to Debtors' Prison, and the only thing left for you is to throw yourself on the mercy of the court. And, sadly, the newest bankruptcy law is little more than the "Credit Card Issuers' Relief Act" It tightens the screws on credit card debtors to the point many will wish for the blessed relief of a Debtors Prison.

You suddenly come to grips with your missteps. You ask yourself, is too stupid to live justifiable suicide?

How do you compensate, reform, adjust?

Work hard, long hours. Economize. Budget. Honor thy debts. Pray.

What else?

Playgrounds for Scam Artists

--Many and Varied are the Playgrounds Upon Which Scam Artists Conduct Their Con Games--Are you Ever Tempted to Join in on the Fun?

Fraklin's Rule hits this theme right on the head: Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed. But, more likely it is that most people will follow this slightly altered version: If you started out with nothing, and still have most of it left, you might be tempted.

What are these scam artists' games? Here is the basic menu--26 playground areas for you, as the victim, to swallow--or reject:

> Home improvement frauds. Termites you don't have. Other phantom pests. Recommendations by phony city inspectors. Marriage is said to be made in heaven; so is thunder and lightening. These scams are some of the latter.

> Phony bank examiners. Soliciting your "cooperation" in tracking down dishonest employees, misplaced funds, etc. Trying to justify these is like watching a foreign film without subtitles.

> Phony legal threats for non-cooperation with F.B.I., refusal of jury service, etc. Your reactions can run the gamut. At one extreme, you can ignore or report to the police. At the other you can completely succumb in a panic, by going to your court house steps and protest by setting yourself on fire.

> Vending machines. Easy to unload. Great sales appeal. Just park the machines; they will work for you; all you have to do is empty the machines of their cash, bank the money and get rich. The con man worships such post-scam activities as a government bureaucrat worships operational mediocrity.

> Investments, franchises, land frauds. Most common. Most overdone. Most profitable for the con man. Suckers are baited with these lures over and over and over again. Remember, the squeaky wheel gets annoying. Better to walk away, back turned.

> Inventions. The person who has invented a revolutionary toothpick rotator device in his garage usually knows less than nothing about marketing. These scam artists, therefore, crawl out from under their rocks to "show him the way." For a small fee, of course.

> Work-at-home. Sit home, stuff envelopes on your kitchen table, and make a fortune. Popular appeal. Schizophrenia beats being alone.

> Phony degrees. Covered thoroughly in our article, How to Earn a College Degree Without Earning a College Degree. Appeal to vanity,and ease-of-achievement. Check the Archives.

> Postal frauds, chain letters. Old as the hills. Still work. Suckers jump. All we can say is: A thing not worth doing is not worth doing well.

> Unordered merchandise. Letting yourself get suckered in to accepting these would be like shooting yourself in the head to stop a headache.

> Charity rackets. Total of 90% of some charitable donations go to decorate the linings of the con man's pockets. Stick to the charities you know.

> Computer dating. Incubator for lots of sparks. First off, a computer makes as many mistakes in 2 seconds as 20 people working 20 years. Secondly, men can't be sexist; broads hate that. Third up, it confuses men about their manhood, and, it makes broads fret And hell hath no fury like a fretting broad.

> Debt consolidation. These are convoluted, complex formulas designed to delay and confuse. Remember, the longer you wait in line , the more likely it is to be the wrong line.

> Dance Lessons. After 60 years Arthur Murray's footprints still loom large. And, a natural urge ever persists to be Gene Kelly dancing in the rain. Go slow though. If you are a slow-footed klutz who can barely walk straight, you would be wasting your money.

> Freezer plans. Fifty years ago these were popular. Today they rank with the boldest of out-and-out frauds. Don't touch. To err is human; to eat a muskrat is not.

> Psychic fraud. Aimed at those who have to study to become a half-wit.

> Health clubs. Great appeal, both legitimate and illegitimate. But, always consider: If God wanted us to fly coach, he would have made us narrower.

> Employment. Dangerous. Too much personal information is required for resume filing.

> Lonely Hearts. For women, you might like him, but still not want to see him work with sub-atomic particles. For men, you might like her, but not want to see her win crocheting awards.

> Medical quackery. You cannot produce a baby in 1 month by impregnating 9 women Yet, much of the medical quackery out there is of similar lunacy.

> Missing heirs and inheritance scams. check the Archives for our article on inheritance scams It was popular, revealing.

> Referral Sales. Easy way to make millions, huh? Sure When you see this one, tell yourself: There is no time like the present to postpone or cancel a decision.

> Lonely hearts. Men emanating a piney scent, wishing to smell masculine, and ladies marinating in strong perfume, make up the bulk of this huge, huge,market.

> Talent scouts. Vanity appeal. Before jumping into this, ask yourself: If a fool and his money are soon parted, how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

> Self-published books. If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?

> Anti-aging devices and products. Time may be a great healer, but a lousy beautician.

Now, in confronting all of this you must face a typical bean-bag reality: If your shadow stops doing what you're doing, look out. It means, simply, your common sense has taken a vacation, and a shroud of illogic is taking over.

You can counter this by adhering to one solid principle:

When in doubt, procrastinate--until all of these "opportunities" pass you by.

Simple Quirk in the Law Enables Anyone to Become a Con Man

--How the Everyday Man-on-the-Street Consumer Can Become a Con Man

With only your credit card your cup runneth over. A new career as a con man awaits you.

Sure. Who? Anybody, including you.

How? Why? What enables such good fortune? It's credit card law, much to the benefit of the con man Now, you have only to take your credit card and find a new, simple use for it. (Everything works better if you plug it in.)

In many countries internet sales and mail order sales are governed by the same laws. This includes the U.S. So, what's the similarity in sales that invites this sameness of regulation? In both internet and mail order sales the customer is absent from the POP (point-of-purchase). thus,, no signature appears, assuring that delivery has occurred. (These last words are important. So, read them again: no signature appears, assuring that delivery has occurred. This is the can opener that opens this Can of Worms. More detail in the wrap-up phase of this article.)

As a result, customers are presented with several options, which, in effect, would clearly complete the transaction. Usually, within 30 days, they can claim:

1) The item was not delivered as promised.

2) The item did not meet expectations.

3) The transaction was the result of a lost or stolen credit card.

Of course, the merchant is offered an opportunity to contest the chargeback. But--and, here's the big but--without a signature to verify delivery,there is most often little--or nothing--the merchant can do. You have only to follow a basic con man remedy: When your victim is down, kick him..

So, what's the best option for the every-day- consumer-turned-con-man? Certainly, that's easy enough to figure. Number 1, naturally. If the product was not signed for when delivered (more than 95% of all cases), the burden is on the merchant to either deliver a second time, or refund the purchase price. Opportunity for illicit customer profit? Should be obvious. A truly con man-prone situation If you have set low personal standards for yourself, then consistently failed to meet them, you will be "up" to such an underhanded endeavor.

To make this kind of crime work you'd have to become a whining complainer.. And, it's said that the more you complain, the longer God makes you live. A negative?

Consequently, if pangs of conscience emerge, and you become a guilt-ridden whacko because of this new career, then what? It's introspection time.. Remember, the only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

If, In addition to moral reasons, you reconsider the whole thing and, rather, opt to stay on the "straight and narrow," as a means to claiming your just deserts in the Hereafter, ask yourself, which came first, karma or dogma? Remember, the hardness of the butter is always directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

Also remember Alley's Axiom: Justice always prevails--3 times out of 7. But, as shocking as it was to Dorothy and her dog, Toto, to get dumped out of the Land of Oz back into Kansas, look no further for guidance on the proper path to take. They adjusted, and to the bright side.

Stick with the old hokeyism, "honesty is the best policy," to insure your reservation--a front row seat in that Hereafter.

He who dies with the most toys still dies.

Legal Thriller?--How to Scam For Fun and Profit Through a Foundation

--How to become a Scam Artist? You've Read the Basics in Previous Articles; Now it's on to an Advanced Scam School Education that reads like a Legal Thriller

A conscience does not prevent sin; it only prevents you from enjoying it.

Want to find a scam that's as simple as stealing cookies from girl scouts?Conscience be damned? Try this:

Your studies of basic Scamology completed (ref: the Archives), you are now ready to move on--from Scamology 101 to the next, more advanced class, Scamology 102.

Here we employ a slightly altered approach, one that reads like a real legal thriller book. Use of the legal, tax-exempt "Foundation" as the tool for plundering, pillaging, defrauding, and robbing blind all those you can persuade to trust you with their money.

(As foreboding and expensive as "Foundation" sounds, it's cheaper than you think. Check out with any attorney the--usually--reasonable costs of setting up your own tax exempt association. You can even run it out of a home office. This may seem like wearing bib overalls to a funeral, but it's not. It's doable.)

Speaking from the standpoint of the scam artist (visualize yourself in that role), here is how you could achieve wondrous results,

> Remember, from past lessons, that your primary goal is to generate an issue, where you can promote 2 strongly opposing sides, manufacture a problem so you can step in and solve it. Precursor is to foster the "Lets you and him fight?" psychosis to its fullest. For this, the Foundation is ideal because it affords you a legitimate-sounding shield, behind which you can hide while you deviously strive to follow Jahe's Law: Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

> Win the battle? Lose? Who cares? Only relevant factor is being seen by the public as the "Good Guys." You must therefore, above all else, create a positive public image. Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it.

> You must work hard to dehumanize all those opposing you, so you can justify manipulating your flock into hating them, and supporting you as a consequence. A conclusion is a place you get to when you're tired of thinking. Manipulate this common emotion to your advantage. Hammer home the necessity of jumping to a conclusion--so that your followers can come up with a flawed assumption.

> Now, dip back to the worthy motives learned from Scamology 101. Use these problems you've created through the setting up of your Foundation in the following ways: To manipulate, sell fear and divisiveness, divert attention, gain followers--to form your flock of sheep--and raise money to fatten your wallet at their expense. Much like borrowing funds from a pessimist, who doesn't expect to be repaid. (God must have loved stupid people; he made so many of them).

> A Foundation is a perfect "front" for your scamming activities because: 1) Buried among the many thousands of these which are legitimate, yours will be virtually invisible. 2) You can set up a stooge--a "front person," one with an appealing public image (manufactured war hero, an "I have overcome" disease recoverer, maybe a born-again Christian). 3) You are then free to become the behind-the-scenes string puller of your little puppet show--free to con, blackmail, bribe, lie, do whatever it takes to achieve your materialistic ends. Just be sure to keep your dupe (front person) ignorant of what is really going on. As the old proverb goes: Never try teaching a goat to dance; you waste your time and only annoy the goat.

> Now, when you write the rules,--with an exclusion clause for yourself--you can design them so you can follow the letter of the law while completely ignoring its intent.
The challenge is like crossing a lawyer with a librarian, your flock gets all the information it needs, and can't understand a word of it.

> You can set up sub-groups of suckers from within your flock to unwittingly do all the illegal, unethical, and immoral tasks, by way of a secret language through which you can give orders and not be held accountable. Always have your dumbest sucker designated as your scapegoat, someone to "take the fall" if anything goes wrong. You will want someone so stupid that she should be watered twice a week. There is no vaccine for stupidity.

> Good news must always be transmitted via your Simon Pure, Front Person; bad news by your Patsy. Use lots of statistics. Statistics are a highly logical and precise way for saying a half-truth inaccurately. (If you have to talk to yourself, don't use a bull horn.)

> There you have it. Always focus on the symptoms, never the problem.. Emphasize hope, dreams, fallacies, fiction, never facts, and especially, never the real problem itself.
Jump up and down about the symptoms. Make a lot of noise. (Attila the Hun died on his wedding night of a nose bleed; you don't want to go out as a wimp, like Attila.) Stay healthy. You can get plenty of exercise just dodging deadlines.

True, this whole thing sounds like a scientific exercise in Artificial Stupidity. Like advocating a return to slavery and abolition of a woman's right to vote. But, you'd be surprised at how every carbon-based life form on the planet craves recognition, honor, and respect, for themselves, and integrity in others. And, for the gifted con man, a cloak of integrity is easy to manufacture. You have merely to cash-in on these fundamental weaknesses--for your own fun and profit. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

Manage all these diverse elements--manipulate your followers properly, these people who would be out of their depth in a mud puddle--and your tax-free income will enrich you. No end.

And, for mop up operations? Simple. After the battle, like an auditor, you have only to show up and bayonet all the wounded.

Bold Con Man Scam: Scamsters Representing Themselves as FBI Agents and Officials

--Email Communications Include Photos of Director Mueller, Seal, Letterhead, and Banners

With all the sensitivity of a Medieval dentist, the con man, supposedly a member of the FBI, may contact you, with instructions.

Yes, with an invitation to participate in a totally bogus investigation.

Overreach? Probably. But, it's happening, and the FBI is very upset about it. Especially when the con man involved is so fearless that he will actually employ all the identifying insignia of the Agency--i.e Director Muller's photo, the Seal, Letterhead, even the Banners. Apparently some successes are being run up by this subterfuge. Speak softly and wear a loud shirt. This seems to be the underlying brashness. They believe that creativity is O.K., but plagiarism and infringement are faster and easier.

What kinds of schemes are promoted?

Inheritance notifications and lottery endorsements are the two most common. But, threat and extortion schemes also rank high. These often involve online auction scams. and, of course, all of the scams include the usual malicious computer program attachments (malware) designed to trap, isolate, and reveal your vital personal information for identity theft purposes. Too many freaks, not enough circuses? Talk about risk for the con man? This has to be about the highest ever. It's not hard to envision 100-year, throw-away-the-key sentences for this kind of crime.

A social Engineering technique?

Sure. You could call it that. The con man uses the FBI's name to intimidate and convince the recipient that the email is legitimate. That's a form of social engineering. Isn't it? One essential truism looming over all of this--the FBI does not send out emails soliciting information from citizens. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. Improbable? Hence, it could be that the con man thinks anything is possible. Is this the reason they play golf, maybe--so they can wear all the clothes they wouldn't otherwise be caught dead in?

Don't let the con man put anything over on you--not even an umbrella.

This whole presumption is so strange, so weird, so far out. You've got to wonder about the bewilderability level of it.

It's almost like making you feel that you must tape the wall mirror in your house so you don't accidentally walk through it and into another dimension.

Scams at their Most Elaborate: Insurance Fraud

--Newest "Hall of Shame" entries put a Truly Bizarre Touch to Con Games

A real down-home hunk of logic, Epstein's Law, tells it like it is: If you think the problem is bad now, just wait till you've solved it.

The investigative arms of insurance companies are perhaps the most effective scam fighting machines on the planet Earth. Their rating for the number of con artists convicted is about the highest for any group of crime fighters. Yet, for every con artist nailed, it seems a more sophisticated scam specialist springs up--to extend their challenge.

From the Archives of the Coalition Against Insurance Fraud, here are some examples (from their "Hall of Shame"):

> A self-proclaimed gypsy, a wedding dancer, swallows broken glass. Purpose? To shake down restaurants and other food providers, cash in on their insurance coverage. Says he was seeking a dowry for his sons. But, instead, is serving a 5-year stretch, and will have to cough up $340,000 in restitution.

> Florida gay man torches his home after painting "Idle Fag" across it's front steps--in order to collect the insurance money. and make it look like a hate crime. He gets 18 months in state prison to contemplate the wisdom of this approach.
Say some, if at first you don't succeed, you'll never succeed.

> A New York school teacher fakes cancer to collect the insurance money, then moves to New Hampshire to try a repeat performance. When her valiant struggle makes the local newspaper, she is exposed, and is now serving 1 to 3. A new way to celebrate mediocrity?

> A life insurance agent kills 4 homeless people, and fakes their deaths so he can collect $1,000,000 in insurance proceeds. He's serving a life sentence--more than enough time to pray for forgiveness of his sins.

> New York woman, poses as a Princess, member of the Saudi Royal Family. (This sounds about as challenging as trying to tune a bagpipe.) Finally, pleads guilty to insurance fraud and attempted grand larceny. Must have had a sharp lawyer. She's able to trade down from a 15-year sentence to 1 year in a psychiatric facility.
Almost sounds like political influence. Power corrupts; absolute power is pretty neat though.

> A Manhattan Stock Market Day Trader has an effective scam going, makes a small fortune, in fact. Claims he lost his right eye on 3 different boat cruises. First time is allegedly the result of a sun filter falling off a ship's telescope while he's looking through it. Second claim is for an exploding champagne bottle on another cruise. Third time around, on still another cruise, he is supposedly hit in the eye by a flying toy disc. This guy's luck holds. He's still at large. Sounds like an unusually talented con man, a guy who could probably jump start a car without cables.

> A Texas couple digs up the grave of an elderly woman and dresses her in the husband's clothing, stuffs her body in his car, and pushes it over a cliff. Object? To collect the insurance money, hoping the blackened body would obscure identity. DNA gives them away, and they are now serving a long, all-expenses-paid stay in a Texas slammer. (Why is it everyone seems normal--until you get to know them?)

> Illegal meth lab blows up, yielding $40,000 in insurance proceeds for a man who says his severe burns occurred while he was working in his mother's bakery. Anyone can set low standards, then consistently fail to meet them.

> Doctor performs 750 worthless heart operations on homeless people to collect $2,000,000 in Medicaid payments. Good maxim is: Live your life so that, when you die, the preacher will not have to lie at your funeral. Obviously ignored by this physician.

> An insurance adjuster rams a huge chunk of tree through a hole in his roof in order to inflate an insurance claim.
He is nailed when it comes to light that a nosey neighbor had videotaped everything.

> Washington, D.C. man tries to blow up his father by wiring his SUV to explode upon entry, an insurance "reward" being his goal. But, his brother borrows the car and blows himself up instead. The man is now serving 32 years of hard time in a 6 x 9 cell, plenty of space to think about his mistake.

We can only assume that, if your handle on life breaks, you are capable of coming up with some very zany ideas on how to scam the system to make yourself rich. These examples, we submit, are clear evidence of this. But insurance fraud, like the return trip of a boomerang, always seems to come back to haunt the con artist perpetrator. Pickings in this area of scamery are slim indeed.

Just about everyone participates in mild insurance fraud, at one time or another. Slight exaggeration of insurance claims are common. But when it comes to the elaborate, big time stuff, it's best to have a positive attitude about the con man's destructive habits, and, in a wide arc, steer clear.

Where the blind leadeth the blind, it's best to merely get out of the way.